we make our own meaning [ffxiv; hades/hythlodaeus; gen]

Title: we make our own meaning [or read on Ao3]

Fandom: Final Fantasy XIV

Pairing: Hades/Hythlodaeus

Rating: Gen

Warning: None

Tags: The Final Days, apologies to the poet Richard Siken, Canon Compliant, Pre-Canon, the Zodiark sacrifice

Author’s Note: The line “this is how you make the meaning, you take two things and try to define the space between them” is taken from Richard Siken’s poem “You Are Jeff.” But everything here is also heavily inspired by that poem—as well as the rest of Crush.

Also as a side note, I am in love with the forward by Louise Glück: “This is a book about panic. The word is never mentioned. Nor is the condition analyzed or described, the speaker is never outside it long enough to differentiate panic from other states. In the world of Crush, panic is a synonym for being…”

I also snuck in an Anne Carson reference.

This was written for the ever-wonderful aegisunmerge, who requested something Siken-inspired.

Summary:

There are two choices before Hythlodaeus. They might not feel like choices, but they are. Most people would say there is one option: sacrifice yourself, save the star. But there is the alternative, unvoiced and whispering seductively: act selfishly, and let others serve instead. Meanwhile, Hades assures him there is still time. The Convocation is looking for solutions, blasphemies have not yet been reported within Amaurot, the rotted aether might still be restored and the course of their star righted. But the suggestion has already been made. One sacrifice, great though it might be, and Etheirys might be restored. Hythlodaeus has not yet made his choice.

『Or, facing the final days, Hythlodaeus considers what it means to make a selfless choice.』

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